Morgan Stanley
Hello there,
Morgan Stanley (@morgan)
Evil Schemes
Super Villain Resume Generator
Auto-generates fake LinkedIn profiles with 10+ years of evil experience.
Mood-Swapping Ray
Replaces joy with mild irritation within a 10-meter radius. Great for parties.
Mind Control Newsletter
Sends weekly "suggestions" to subscribers, subtly turning them into minions.
Cat Video Overload
Replaces all serious online content with looping cat videos. No one suspects a thing.
Impostor Bot Network
Deploys AI-generated doppelgängers to flood forums with confusing opinions.
Inconvenience Engine
Randomly moves people's car keys or delays Wi-Fi by 2 seconds. Utter chaos.
Announcements
Evil Lair Wi-Fi Outage
Due to excessive doomsday streaming, the Wi-Fi dragon is currently asleep. Please try poking it with a lightning rod or wait 13-17 business hours.
Potion Recall Notice
Attention all minions: The "Invisibility Potion" was actually mislabeled "Instant Salsa". If you're both spicy and visible, please return your bottle.
Mutant Hamster Uprising
The training wheel broke containment. Hamsters have formed a union. Avoid the vents. Do not engage in negotiation.